Findus is no more

I have not blogged for ages. I hope you can understand, that I cannot blogg now my baby is gone. I have to find her first or there is nothing to blogg about. I don't understand. I can't find my kitten. I have looked everywhere, but she is not to be found. My love, my baby, my everything is gone and no matter how much I search, and where I search - I just can't find her. I can smell her and I follow her paw prints, but they lead to nowhere. My human says she is gone and won't come back. I don't understand. Why did she leave? And where to? My human says she was very, very sick and she had to "be put down" - what does she mean with that? When I don't understand, she, my human, tells me that Findus is dead, but I still don't understand. I don't want to understand.

My human has two other cats. One of them is very old and very wise. She is trying to comfort me now. She lays beside me and purrs and tells me about Findus and "a better place". But what is better than being here, playing in the snow in winter and now, when spring has arrived, laying in the sun and running in the forest! What can be better than that and what place is better than here?

I don't understand. But my human says that sometimes we don't understand and that sometimes life is cruel. So I have to face tha fact tha my baby, my darling, my only real love, is not going to come back. My human cries too. She misses her so very much. And Tuss, my human's second cat, is dead sad. Findus was her only friend. She layed in the cat carrier fpr two weeks and, I guess, just smelled Findus. Now, every night, she sleeps on my human's chest. All night. Findus used to sleep ther... I sleep beside her and Bambi, the old and wise cat, she's ok and sleeps by the window. But Bambi did never realy care for Findus. Not that much anyway.

I don't understand. My baby is gone. For five weeks now, she's gone. Is she really never going to come back? Never ever? It don't look like she is...